Hmm...

I think I'd really like to try to blog. Here's the problem...I've been saying this for years now. Literally. Years. There are many things I'd really like to do, aspirations I have, ideas, thoughts to share...you get the picture. I have an issue with inconsistency. I begin, yet do not continue. Case in point: I created this blog in 2008. Today is March 7, 2011. This would be post #2.... Hmm...enough said.


As I thought about reasons I haven't done anything with this blog, I came up with 3 main ones. If you are still hanging in there and reading, then - WOW!- but, still, allow me to share:)
1. I am still not sure about the ins/outs of blogging, posting, adding pics, etc.
2. I am rather embarrassed at the amount of time that has gone by, and don't exactly want to draw attention to it, and...
3. I am somewhat disorganized, ADD, and yes, as I said, inconsistent.
Hmm...


I have attempted journaling since my middle school days, and while I have several journals around my house, none have more than one or two entries. reasons # 2 & 3 for not blogging also apply to this situation. Hmm...


Scrapbooking is the same story...although I have more accomplished than in my journals. Still, my precious six year old's baby book is not even complete to his 1st birthday. We have an entire huge red tub filled with unorganized photos that we only see when I re-organize my craft area. Hmm...


Here's the thing...I do want to be able to look back on this life God's giving me the chance to live, and to remember it! I want to remember the sweet moments that create our family life, the struggles and truimphs of my faith, my marriage, my mothering, my relationships, and everything else that there is.


This weekend I was at a women's retreat. Our speaker was great! Very genuine, very practical, and very honest. She spoke about prayer... but I think this particular comment applies to many parts of life, not only our prayer life.
She said, (and I am paraphrasing), that shameful, condemning thoughts about how we have failed at consistency are not from God, but from Satan. God convicts, He points out places to us where change is necessary, but He does it with a gentleness...welcoming, inviting, and encouraging us to change and improve...not beating or guilting us into doing so. She told us to think on what we want our [prayer] life with Jesus to be like, rather than what it should be like. What a refreshing perspective!
So...this I am doing. I'm spending time thinking, and praying, and yes, possibly blogging, about what I want my life with Jesus to be like...and what He wants it to be. But in a happy, anticipatory way! And the feeling of freedom this change in perspective is creating within me just happened to ooze over into the realm of blogging...at least for today! I feel excited to try again to preserve little thoughts, moments, blessings, whatever! through blogging...rather than embarrassed at the amount of time that has passed, or the lack of accomplishment I've felt. And maybe someday my children will try something they'd all but given up on because I tried again. Maybe not.
Hmm...